Aaaaaaaaahhhh, AAAAAAAAHHHH Vienna

End of a great few days in Vienna with old and new friends.

Some pics of St Stephens, Église des Dominicains, the Belvedere Palace which houses Gustav Klimt’s The Kiss among many other fabulous works, and the Hofburg Imperial Palace where Hitler greeted Austrians after Anschluss.

The monument to Holocaust victims is very touching. The doors have no handle or key hole to enter. The walls are concrete walls of books, arranged as in a library but with the spines facing inwards. Stories that we can never truly get at or know …

My friend Kath replied none too kindly to my suggestion that Teutonic efficiency had failed to rub off on her.

Prague was supposed to be next but I’ve booted it down the road for another trip. I am Hapsburged out. Baroqued and rolled over. Ready to flick the Gothic.

So it’s up to the Austrian mountains for some hiking and swimming in the lakes and rivers for a week to get back to nature.

Where I slept: Hotel Ambassador Wien: Perfect location and gorgeous period rooms.

Where I ate: Sky Roofgarden and Bar: Unbelievable views, you could just reach across and touch St Stephens.

Budapest, Hungary

What an amazing city Budapest is. 

Second capital of the Hapsburg empire after Vienna, it’s belle époque everywhere you go. It has a great vibe and feels very safe despite a few ongoing political shenanigans. 

It really ought to be given an Olympics, it’s the kind of city that would bring much to the table.

A few shots from around town, the Heroes Square, the Synagogue that survived the Holocaust, the National parliament and one or two other things.

Last night tonight so will be a bit Brahms and Liszt in Liszt’s home town.

Where I slept: Gerloczy Boutique Hotel: Very charming, superbly appointed rooms and a decent brasserie beneath.

Where I ate: Babel: As good as anywhere you will ever eat.

Zagreb, Croatia

Last stop in Croatia was the capital Zagreb before heading to Hungary. 

A culturally vibrant city with many stunning buildings and outdoor cafes and eateries filled with locals holding long discussions in the sunshine about whatever are the problems of the day. 

Zagreb's most famous son, Nikola Tesla is proudly celebrated with civic monuments and the names of hotels and restaurants. However, as he was Serbian, his earthly remains are not here but in Belgrade in Serbia at the Nikola Tesla Museum. Most of the work he is famous for, including the invention of the AC induction motor and polyphase electric power, and demonstration of wireless power transfer, occurred in the US.

My only disappointment was the amount of doodle graffiti giving some parts of town a rundown feel. Some folks blame it on bored Croatian youth. Others on the Serbs. Personally, I blame the Serbs*. 

* Joke

Where I slept: The City Lodge Boutique Appartments: Great views of Zagreb.

Where I ate: Vinodol: Gorgeous venue with traditional fare and a great terrace.

Split, Croatia

Split is probably the most architecturally eclectic city I’ve visited. Fortunately, neither WWII or communist Yugoslavia destroyed what was here.

Hapsburg cultural buildings and Napoleonic era structures fit within Renaissance era Venetian fortifications and gothic modifications that sit atop early Christian churches and baptisteries adapted from and incorporated within Emperor Diocletian’s enormous palace. The palace essentially constitutes the old town, with high thick walls and defensive towers, designed as a square with 2 main intersecting avenues in the style of a Roman military camp.

And from more modern times, buttplug shaped fountains.

Sadly, weather and time conspired against a boat trip out to Hvar on this occasion.

Now …if you don’t have some sort of unsatisfactory encounter with the law when travelling then you’re just not trying hard enough.

Many years ago I spent most of the night in a Guatemalan gaol after being (you couldn’t really call it “arrested”) …forced out of a bar and onto a bus at gunpoint by Guatemalan soldiers that looked about 12 years old. And when I say gunpoint I mean the M-16 kind. My crime? Not having my passport with me. As an aside, fortunately, they didn’t notice the camera film canister filled with pot that I stuck under a table with chewing gum when things kicked off, and it was there to retrieve the next day.

Today, my last day in Split, I was held at a Croatian police station for 3 hours while they “processed” me. Let’s say it did nothing for my general distrust of "the Filth". My crime this time was that little scratch above the rear wheel of the car pictured, while trying to park. The time at the station followed an hour at the scene taking photographs, making drawings and (seriously) getting the measuring tape out.

Monkeys who get a kick out of being as disruptive as possible to get a rise. While making sure you get a good look at the glock on the hip with moves that wouldn’t be out of place on a dance floor.

Nothing that a few afternoon Croat beers in the sunshine can’t fix. And a nice meal on the terrace outside Diocletian’s old rooms.

Where I slept: Stonemasons Heritage: A little hard to find the door and parking is a nightmare, but beautiful rooms.

Where I ate: Zoi: What could be better than dining in part of Diocletian's palace with views of the port.

Dubrovnik, Croatia

Maybe it’s the Zoloft but I cried the first time I saw Dubrovnik from up high on the main artery into Croatia from Montenegro.

It’s a pity I have to leave, but I’ve got to split to get to Split.

The Old City is crowded even in May with Americans and Chinese vying with the Russians and Israelis for most obnoxious tourist.

To pinch a line from Cormac McCarthy - like life, it’s beautiful from a distance.

Lots of arches in Dubrovnik. I like arches. Love them in fact. I’m as fond of arches as Mad Archie McArch from Archway, North London. And I am the arch enemy of arch haters everywhere.

Where I slept: Grand Villa Argentina: Stunning views of the town and Mediterranean. A short walk from, town but that's a good thing.

Where I ate: Nautika Restaurant: Right on the edge of a beautiful cove.

Kotor Bay and Budva

I’ll leave the superlatives for Montenegro to Byron:

“At the birth of the planet, the most beautiful encounter between land and sea must have been on the Montenegrin coast”.

The drive around Kotor Bay is stunning. It is surrounded by mountains that extend right to the waters edge making for many gushing rivers of meltwater plunging into the sea. There are some engineering marvels here than make this drive possible.

While swimming off Budva I noticed that I was about 200 metres from shore and that thought that everyone has who was a teenager when Peter Benchley published his bestseller prompted me to head for shore. I later read that there have been 3 great white attacks off Budva. But you'd have to be very unlucky.

Montenegro is one of those places where you start researching real estate.

Where I slept: Astoria Budva: You could not get a better location.

Where I ate: Bugenvila: A very romantic place and great food.

Albania ...a new riviera?

A mix of sights from Albania.

This is somewhere I’ll definitely return to for some heavy duty hiking in the last of Europe’s wilderness areas and to see the last of its wild rivers.

The spring waters, welling up from wherever at Syri I Kaltër are the most crystal clear I’ve seen. The dense forests of oak, birch, pine and fir are a glimpse back in time of a Europe lost long ago elsewhere. The coast around Dhërmi is so stunning - I hope it isn’t turned into another Kavos-like hell hole. 

There are many ruins from the Soviet era, including a nuclear submarine base tunnelled into the side of a hill and the odd abandoned pillbox where, I imagine, overlooking the Mediterranean it would have been better than most places to be stuck manning a heavy machine gun with a bottle of vodka and a sack of turnips.

Finally, Tirana, the capital - a very multi-ethnic, multi-faith community with rich Illyrian, Roman, Ottoman and Soviet history. Everyone seems to get on.

Albania is a member of NATO and on its way to EU membership. It just needs to do a bit more about its mafia which currently controls people and drug trafficking in Europe, with tentacles reaching into the US. 

There’s a lot of money being washed via public works such as massive infrastructure and tourism works. That, unfortunately, is built on plenty of human misery. Such as it ever was. 

Good governance must prevail.

Where I slept: Empire Beach Resort: Imagine the Spanish coastline before it was ruined.

Where I ate: Some street vendor in the middle of Tirana selling bbq lamb from a spit. The best I've ever had.